Melancholia has a significant interference on my ability to communicate and be sociable.  Though human interaction and dialog with those who love me and whom I love is often times precisely what I need in order to regain a sense of order, sanity and peace, I have this shut-down mechanism (it's probably instinctual for protection of some sort) that compounds the problem. Rather than this instinct keeping me from harm, it subjects me to self-inflicted isolation. I'm working against myself, here. 
What a crazy illness, and maybe someday I'll reflect upon it in memory.  But not today.
Though peace eludes,  verily it will come.
 
 
you have expressed so well the struggle i have had all my life. and although my own awareness of it has only come in the past few years, i still have not been able to ascend, or, abrogate the barricade.
ReplyDeleteif
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