reminders and remembrance

as of late I am reminded:

• that I am not alone
• that I am just as screwed up as the rest of us
• that "not forgiving is like drinking rat poison then waiting for the rat to die" -anne lamott
• that the tail end of a sunset and the coolness of a coming storm behind the barn can be deeply spiritual
• that working in a vegetable garden at 6am can be, too.
  
• that the kids' sermons tucked in between worship and prayer on sunday mornings are just as much for the adults as they are for the kids
• that pain is inevitable and joy is chosen
• that I have a heck of a lot to learn

as of late beauty was found:

• in sameness, in repetition
  
• in the new pub downtown
• in jon-led devotions
• in my ecumenical community
  
• in home-brews
  
• in studying the Arabian prophet
  
• in mothers and fathers
  
• in cooking for 20
• in listening well
  
• in being listened to
• in hearing from far-away people in far-away places
  
• in practicing a little discipline
• in coffee with an old, old friend
• in asking for forgiveness
• in individual faith histories
• in the old, unpretentious, worn-in, comfortable shoe called 'family.'

thanks be to God

shalom

boring little update

Well, Jade and Kyle tie the knot in just a couple days.
It's strange and cool to have 2 of your best friends getting married. I mean there is a spiritual and emotional significance for me as a near observer and it's quite beautiful. I anticipate having an incredible weekend.

In my efforts to bring shalom, I have a some news:
I was offered a job in Detroit helping run an English school. The population in the area where I would live is 90% Arab. cool. I'm not going. It's not something that really fulfills all I want to fulfill. and other reasons.
I'm pursuing other means of getting into foreign work
small dilemma -to leave uh-merica for 2-3 years is much more difficult a decision now that Justin's return doesn't seem so very far off. I admit there may be some silliness in letting that influence me. I'm working with that.

But today's struggle (and yesterday's and the day before that and the day before that) is in forgiveness. It's been interesting/irritating/humbling to see all the crap of the process manifested in my own life. Bitterness doesn't leave easily. Selfishness and self-pity come along with it. These make up the crap of which I speak. And the decision to forgive is far more continual and enduring than I anticipated. There's the hard stuff. So will You bring the peace here, please?

that's all for now. more substance later

shalom